There was once a very attractive young man who purchased a Heaven Shall Burn... by the classically untrained Marduk, resident black metal homeboys. Suffice to say, that attractive young man was my attractive tangent universe self! However, I too, exchanged American dollars for the brutal stylings of Marduk, though mostly because the cover is amazing. It seems an army of armed (and angry!) Goblins or Orcs (the Sunni and Shi'a of fantasy lands) are about ready to assualt the pearly gates. This is relevant for two reasons.1) It isn't relevant at all! and 2) What happened to Astro Train is what will soon happen to heaven in Marduk land. 3) Patrice, Frances, Rabea, Annie, Linda, big black metal fans You see, living the good life comes with certain drawbacks. Chief among those is lethargy, atrophy, crabs, all sorts of Orwellian terms I am only now coming to understand. A certain detachment from the train like world of astronomy had to be taken, to protect the integrity of content, content which ranged from laughably brilliant to laughably terrible. All thanks to Marduk, we are back, and shittier (the new better) than ever.



Tommy Burma



p.s.

who

survived

the

astro

train

armageddon

will be

revealed

in

due

time